An insight to worlds cruelty
by Megan9688
Summary: I took a deep breath as I raised the gun to my head.I, Isabella Swan, am no more." There is a lot more to people, if you take the time to look. Can Bella swan be saved from depression? Or will she die thinking nobody cares about her. All Human!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Now before you guys bombard me with questions; I mixed this chapter with the prologue. Since I just wrote this on a whim, I didn't really think the plot through. So I decided instead of having this, and going back, that I am just going to leave off where she is about to kill herself.**

**Sorry for the confusion. PM me for any questions**

**Song of the chapter: Welcome to my life. By simple Plan. For the full effect, I would put on this song.**

I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. It was just always there. It was unstoppable. I've tried everything that I can think of to fit in. I have joined clubs, sports, anything to meet new people. But it never works.

Its like I was made to be ignored. Its so hard to know that there is nothing to live for. I cant even describe the pain it has caused me. Feeling so worthless all the time, it is un bearable. And eventually it became just that; it was to the point that I could no longer continue to live like this. Something needed to change.

I wish I had just one person. Any person. Girl, boy, friend, boyfriend, it didn't matter. Just anyone. Someone to turn to when I needed a shoulder to cry on. But I had no one. I was completely, and utterly alone.

All I could do was sit and watch the world pass me by. I would watch in envy as I saw any normal, any happy person have fun. I wish I could have fun. Its like I was a complete waste of time. A waste of space.

I just don't see why it was so impossible to love me. Sure, I mean my parents were there, but its not like I could talk to them. No, they were too busy for that. Like I said, I was a waste of time.

Its not fair. I know, I know. Life isn't fair right? It was fair to everyone else, I was the only exception.

Now you might think I am being a little dramatic. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm really really not. Sure, I have never been abused, or sexually harassed. I've never been without food, or a house. And I've had to go through some really hard times. But I've also never been wanted, or cared for. I've never been loved or had anybody to count on. And I've been through more emotional tragedy's then you can even imagine.

But I'm sure you guys don't want to hear about that right now. That's for later.

I am getting ahead of myself; and for that, I am truly sorry.

My name is Isabella Swan, but I prefer to be called Bella. I live in Forks, Washington; where nothing, and I mean NOTHING ever happens. Well, at least to me it doesn't. I am not ugly, but I'm not anything special either. My parents are divorced, I live with my dad, Charlie, while my mother Renee lives in Phoenix, Arizona. I used to live with my mom, but then she met Phil.

Now, I don't have anything against Phil. He just took my mother away. We used to be the best of friends. I could tell her anything, and everything. She was the only one I could count on.

That was before she met him. When he was suddenly in the picture, my mom didn't have time for poor Bella. No, she was to wrapped up in the glorious feelings of love.

Bullshit. There is no such thing as love. Love gives someone the power to break you. All love is, is a mixture of lust, and infatuation. You may think your in love, but your not. People think that their in love when their lonely, and they want something new to do. But all it is, is setting yourself up to get disappointed.

You cant count on anyone but yourself. I promise you that. People will only be there for a short period of time. But eventually, they to will be gone. Sure, you think that you have such great friends, or a sweet, caring boyfriend. But they don't care. They couldn't care less. They are in it, because something about you, is convenient for them. They are selfish. When you need them most, they will not have your back.

I can guarantee that.

Sure, there is the occasional person that you believe that you can trust. A friend, family member, boyfriend. But eventually, they will drift away.

That's why, you don't set yourself up thinking that its going to work out. That this time is going to be different. Because it wont be. It never is.

You can only depend on yourself.

My heart races just thinking about what I'm about to do.

I turn the radio up for one last song.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?_

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

_Like somehow you just don't belong,_

_And know one understands you._

For some odd reason this song comforted me. I don't know why though. Maybe it was the fact that it was practically the soundtrack of my life. I can always relate.

_Do you ever run away?_

_Do you lock yourself in your room?_

_With the radio on turned up so loud,_

_That no one hears you screaming._

I Listened to the lyrics, as the tears silently fell.

_No you don't know what its like,_

_When nothing feels alright._

_No you don't know what its like,_

_To be like me._

It was true. Nobody could relate to me. I was absolutely, utterly alone.

_To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark,_

_To be kicked when your down, and feel like you've been pushed around,_

_To be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you,_

_No you don't know what its like, welcome to my life._

It just isn't fair. What did I ever do to deserve this? I'll tell you what, nothing. I. didn't. do. ANYTHING! It just not fair.

_Do you wanna be somebody else?_

_Are you sick of feeling so left out?_

_Are you desperate to find something more?_

_Before your life is over._

I would. I would do absolutely anything to feel included. But of course, life doesn't work that way. I will forever be unhappy.

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?_

_Are you sick of everyone around?_

_With they're big fake smiles, and stupid lies,_

_While deep inside your bleeding._

Nobody knew. Nobody cared. They didn't care if I lived or died. Nobody would miss me.

_No you don't know what its like,_

_When nothing feels alright._

_No you don't know what its like,_

_To feel like me._

I am just so miserable. I cant take it anymore.

_To feel hurt, to be lost, to be left out in the dark,_

_To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,_

_to be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what its like._

_Welcome to my life._

I was broken beyond repair. It was way too late to save me.

_No one ever lied straight to your face,_

_No one ever stabbed you in the back,_

_You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay._

_Everybody always gave you what you wanted._

_You never had to work, it was always there._

_No you don't know what its like, _

_What its like._

I tried. I tried to do everything I could for it not to end up like this; but in the end.. I just couldn't take it anymore.

_To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark._

_To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,_

_To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you_

_No you don't know what its like_

You know; the strongest of people can only get piled with weights for so long. Its only a matter of time before they collapse. Now was my time.

_To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark,_

_To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,_

_To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you_

_No you don't know what its like_

_Welcome to my life._

I was only delaying the inevitable. As much as I hoped, nothing was ever going to change. My life wasn't a fairytale, I had no happy ending.

_Welcome to my life._

_Welcome to my life._

_Welcome to my life._

As the song came to an ending, I knew that I could not delay it any longer. It was time.

It was time to end this stupid game once and for all. I was actually kind of looking forward to it. It would be a big relief.

So I grabbed the keys to closet, in my dads bedside drawer.

I took a deep breath as I raised the gun to my head.

I, Isabella Swan, am no more.

**Now, I just wrote this on a whim.. So please tell me if you like it. If not, well then, I wont continue.**

**For future reference, this story will have Edward in it. **

**Also, I know this is depressing, and to be honest that is how a good portion of the story will be. But at the same time, It is intriguing. **

**Okay so this is kind of a prologue. But I'm only saying that because it is not the end of the story, unless you would like a sequel. I can either make this a really long story, or have two slightly shorter stories. Watcha think?**

**Again, And I know every author says this, but please review! I wont know if you guys think that i should continue if you don't.**

**Also, I am really sorry if there are any errors. I have no beta as of now, and there's not much i can do. But... If you are interested let me know PLEASE!!**

**Love always,**

**  
Megan9688**


	2. IMPORTANT!

Hey everyone,

I will be moving this story to my new account, ordinarybella

It may not be up for a while, but it will eventually.

Megan


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